Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Spirit + My Self

Quite busy thispast few weeks. All the open houses made me SICK!!! Really, all the foods, rendang, nasi himpuit, lontong, sate, lemang, etc… I’m putting on weight.

A few friends came for a visit. Thanks guys!!! I feel very close to my x-schoolmate lately. Thanks to Facebook, YM, Friendster… Technologies really cherish my friendship.

In this beautiful age, I still want to be closed with my friends esp my schoolmates. For me, each age has its own beautiful moment.

When I was in school, I was not in ‘A student’ category. B pun bukan!!! Being in boarding school, science school some more memang betul2 buatkan aku rasa terkebelakang. I’m not a science person! Ada makhluk Tuhan yang ketawa bagai nak rak bila tahu yang I love to write. Kononnya, itu perkara ‘BODOH’.

Percaya atau tidak, I has been humiliated by someone who used to be closed with me when I was in school. With 1 sentence, dah cukup untuk buat aku rasa… it’s really HURT and no words to describe how hurt I was. “AKU TAK MAHU ORANG KATA AKU BERCINTA DENGAN BUDAK BODOH”.

It’s not easy to go through all the tough moments. Dek kerana tertekan, my study really dropped.

Dalam masa aku tergapai-gapai, I was so lucky sebab ada insan-insan yang tetap menyokong aku. Friends who always be by my side, TQ. My honour to Cikgu Jaafar Kassim. He was the one who TRUST me + my capability. Dialah yang selalu bagi semangat pada aku to improve my life.

SPM was not an everything for me. But it was something that made me strong enough to make my own decision. Aku yakinkan ayah, aku mahu jalan yang berbeza.

I’m correct. SPM is not an everything. Dengan SPM aku yang cukup2 makan for 1st grade, aku masih mampu bernafas dan mempertaruhkan kehidupan hingga ke hari ini.

Why I said so? I met my friends during raya and it’s really make me bersyukur pada Tuhan kerana menduga aku lebih awal.

The friends that I met were among the best students in school. They went to UK right after SPM, sponsored by a corporate companies. They no need to went through the part-time jobs, rasa takut menunggu SPM result, kena bebel with parents, etc.

What are they doing now? 1 of them came back from UK half way of an engineering course @ Cambridge. Another one, hampir2 nanau (too stress – gila – it’s the correct words? I believe you guys know what I mean) after spending 5 years + of study in medicine.

What are they doing now? They are struggling in their life with SPM + A-Level cert.

May be aku yang terawal among my friends. I was among the earliest who completed my degree, the earliest yang mula bekerja and among the earliest who tied a knot.

Menyesal? NEVER!!!

Mungkin pengalaman silam banyak mengajar aku untuk jadi lebih berani. Berani membuat keputusan, berani tanggung risiko.

When most of my friends just started their working life, I was not only stable in my position but also confidence with my decision. And masa kawan-kawan aku yang lain still busy dating with their b/f or g/f, I started my own business.

Hari demi hari, aku makin berani. Demi keluarga, demi anak-anak. Aku mahukan yang terbaik untuk mereka. Kerana RM? Yes! A lot of money needed to educate the kids. Tapi yang utama, aku lebih mencari kepuasan which in the same time, berbakti kepada masyarakat.

Itu bezanya ELEEN dengan yang lain. 1 of my buddies told me, “GOOD IN STUDY DOESN’T MEAN GOOD IN LIFE. We have seen a lot of examples, Kak Eleen.”…
Thanks for the spirit, Fhata!!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Meeting Up the Old Buddies

I believe this year is a time for me to re-build my relationship esp with the old friends that we have lost contact for so long. Started with meeting friends from Friendster & Facebook, my journey from home to office plays an important role as well. Being around KL & PJ (even our house little bit ‘hulu’ as what people said) very often this year is one of the reasons why I met them very easily…

I met Kak Rani (Hairani Miswan), my MOZAC’s senior in ERL. We take the same ERL almost everyday and we only beranikan diri to start the conversation after a few months. Rupanya, she stay nearby my house and we all start to be closed to each other. Friends, she just exactly like before, tinggal berisi sikit jer. And she mentioned that, “Muka Eleen sama macam dulu, tak berubah pun!” She worked with Shell @ Damansara after came back from US.

In ERL as well, I met Kak Yem (Azianty), my MOZAC’s senior as well (same batch with Kak Rani). Since that, selalulah ber ‘hai-hai bye-bye’… We shared a lot of stories, gossips, advices, etc…

Another buddies that I met was Lee (bukan nama sebenar. I definitely can’t release his name due to my respect to him & his sincere friendship). Our offices dekat jer but masing2 busy with our own schedule. And guess where we met? We met in Mid Valley while I was looking so busy shopping for raya alone @ Metrojaya. Some conversation between us yang buat aku rasa bersalah sebab mendiamkan diri & sengaja lost contact with him.

Yes, I keep avoiding him for years. I appreciated his maturity sebab tak timbulkan soal siapa yang salah. His request made me think more than 10 times. Being ‘somebody’ in the education industry, known by Malaysian with his patience & spirit made me feel so humble on his KEPERCAYAAN to me. A good offer but I feel so SMALL compared to him.

I joined the education industry when I was 20 and now after 10 years of service in this beloved industry, rasa sayang sangat nak tinggalkan. I’m happy helping people to develop & educate the Malaysian esp Malays. Yes, after 10 years, people have seen my capabilities in this field. And now is the time for people looking for me. I have to be sincere with him. I need time to think & develop my spirit. Sekarang nie pun, tengah busy with all archiFORCE + GAIA Arts & Gifts works. I’ll keep that offer under KIV… Don’t worry Lee…

I met MAS (not her real name) some day during the fasting month. Memang tak sangka betul. The last time we met kalau tak silap… b4 my wedding. I know this sweet lady when we were taking computer course after SPM (it was somewhere in 1995). We started to be close from there. Lepas tu, I went to Uniten and she was in UPM taking Mass Comm. She then tried her luck in the entertainment industry as a VJ @ Salam Bollywood. With her Mami Penang face, then she acted in Anak Mami The Movie.

Why she is so special to me?  She was the one introduced me in the commercial ads line. It was back in 1996. Dialah perempuan yang buat2 sakit gigi and requested me to replace her as an emcee (I could not remember what event was that, tapi yang aku sure, I had to skip classes for 2 days for rehearsal and actual event). Why? Sebab she got another shooting masa tu…

From there I started my contact. Lepas tu, everytime ada job for emcee, she will pass it to me. Jumping from one event to another buat hidup aku makin busy since in the same time, I was still studying. But, the payment is good, dammed GOOD for 19 years old lady!!! Hahaha…

I tried my luck in commercial ads, dari situ I made my saving. RM? I managed to pay half of my degree fees @ Univ of Hertfordshire with that money a few years after that. From commercial ads, then cuba2 buat publication modeling (sebab tak cukup tinggi to be a model!!!). Lovely!!! Look good in picture!!!

MAS & me lost contact lepas she started acting in movies, etc. Busy schedules + study. I resumed from all the ‘kerja-kerja di atas’ sebab nak concentrate study and start sikit2 masa kerja with MVC. I was lucky sebab one of the make-up group people interested on me. Some projects still going on after I moved to Limkokwing.

I got to know Azimin when I was in LUCT. To be sincere, he is fine with all the things but when the relationship getting more and more serious, he asked me to screen the assignments carefully. As usual, not to wear sexy, not to hang around so often, etc…

2 weeks after my engagement, I was approached by a modeling agencies masa having tea @ Mid Valley with my friends. The next day, I went to their office and we agreed on 1 project and guess what? I SIGNED THE AGREEMENT immediately. Konon2 nak buat surprise to Azimin and some more, the project duration was just 3 months and NOT during office hours. Our wedding lagi 6 bulan (kitaorg engaged just for 6 months) and to me, that was the best time to save some RM for my wedding.

Azimin was not agreed with my decision. He gave me a choice, to proceed with this TAYANG MUKA FOR EVERYBODY or HIM. I was so stressed, geram pun ada. Masa tu tengah muda (do I look old now?) and so many things came acroos my mind. And that time, MAS came with her valuable advices. “IKUT KATA HATI and kau tak boleh jadi tamak to choose both. Whatever is it, I will respect your decision.”

The next day, MAS accompanied me to the agencies and begging them to cancel the agreement dengan cara baik, tak payah berlawyer-lawyer. We took a few hours to convience them and finally, we tore the original agreement. That was the last casting ever and aku tutup buku…

Huh!!! Until now I still keep all my portfolio and dah bertahun terperuk kat cabinet bilik Anggun. Terharu sungguh bila Azimin frame my photo masa being a covergirl for 1 international make-up magazine. Thanks Ayang!!!

Lepas dapat Anggun, Azimin suddenly became so sporting. He even asked me, “If u want to go for ads casting, pergilah.” Azimin is the one yang sibuk2 suruh aku join everytime ada competition and masa Pengacara Jemputan Nona dulu, dialah orang yang beria-ia… Until kalau ada ads for newscaster pun dia suruh aku try apply. May be he know ada talent yang terpendam. Hahahaha!!!

I’m happy with my current life. Now, aku comfortable with expressing myself with writing. I’m struggling extra hard to complete my novel. Tapi, bila time beria-ia nak menulis tu, idea pulak tak datang-datang…

To all my friends, I do appreciate the sincere friendship that built between us. THANKS GUYS!!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008


I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my muslim friends Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Maaf Zahir Batin. Moga Aidilfitri kali ini memberi kita rasa kesyukuran & keinsafan dgn cara tersendiri.

This raya, our preparation boleh tahan jugaklah but the celebration memang serba serdahana. A day before raya, Azimin's aunty (Mak Ngah Saadiah) passed away @ Sg Buluh Hospital. We managed to visited her a week before raya masa on the way to Taiping.

The next day, masa pagi raya... tengah aku membebel-bebel sebab baju raya yang still tak siap2 lagi, suddenly I received a call from ayah to inform yang his uncle (my TOK CHIK) passed away before sembahyang raya. Dengan blur2 sebab memikirkan baju yang tak siap tu (I have cleared my wardrobe and sedekahkan most of the baju kurung to orang since banyak sgt baju lama yg over-sized) , I straight away capai baju kurung apa yg sempat and carik baju kurung for Anggun.

We straight away to Puchong without dropping by Ayah's house sebab Ayah & Mama pun nak ke rumah Tok Chik. Actually, setiap kali pagi raya memang semua adik-beradik ayah + the relatives (if tak balik spouse's hometown) will gather at Tok Chik's house. Pagi raya rumah Tok Chik will be crowded. This time as well but with the difference purpose.

That morning, Tok Cik was busy cooking for the food. After cooking (except the chicken), he went for shower and the maid only realized that he was still in the bathroom when they wanted to salam raya before going to sembahyang raya. The maid suspected something bila nampak air melimpah-limpah keluar dari bathroom and bila pecahkan pintu, Tok Chik dah tak ada. They are not sure samada Tok Chik terjatuh or not sebab his body tengah bersandar kat dinding masa diaorg jumpa. Jenazah Tok Chik selamat dikebumikn lepas sembahyang Asar...

Al-fatihah for both of them...

We went to Seremban (rumah mak wan, my grandma) lebih kurang pukul 1pm and reached Enstek before Maghrib. Tension jugaklah sebab we have been served the same food masa dekat Puchong (sempat lagi beraya rumah nenek sedara ku...) & Seremban, malam tu we including by brother pergi beraya kat McD.

I missed laksa johor & chocolate cake acik Ita sebab masing2 dah sibuk dengan arwah Tok Chik. Nasib baik sempat jumpa my uncles + aunties + relatives kat rumah Nek Enan. My grandma pulak buat nasi minyak on the 2nd raya which I will be @ Taiping... My grandma punya nasi minyak 1st class tau sebab pakai rempah from Terengganu. And everytime Azimin & me balik Terengganu (my parents jarang balik sana) or Azimin out-station ke sana, kitaorg memang akan dibekalkan dengan all the rempah2...

We left Enstek to Taiping on the 2nd raya, pukul 4.00am and reached Taiping about 8am (We stopped a few times sebab ngantuk!!!). At Taiping, beraya sakan la we all. Balik kampung abah kat Sg Bayor, Selama and rumah Njang (my mother in-law's sister - the only sister yang tinggal) kat Parit Buntar. The rest of the activities... pergi Tesco, Taiping Sentral, Taiping Golf Resort... Ada ker masa raya pun nak main golf... tension aku!!! After golf game, I forced Azimin to have a coffee at Starbuck (Eh! Kat Taiping Sentral dah ada Starbuck tau). Sebab aku dah tarik muka 14 inci, Azimin pun tak banyak cerita, ikut jer... memang la ikut jer, aku yang bayar!!!

Sempat singgah Doli (the famous kuew-tiow) on Saturday lepas Azimin's came back from fishing. Sunday early morning (our fav time, 4am) we left Taiping and reached Sg, Besi (rumah Mak Nah - Azimin's aunty) at 7.30am...

Nanti aku sambung lagi... I met a few old buddies with 1001 stories and approaches. And it refresh my memories until now... buat teringat zaman muda-muda... Eh! I'm not that OLD!!!